Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
handjob tips. give me some.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
