The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
