so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
