but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
