My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
