By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
