So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
