My liver just broke up with me...
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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