umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
