and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
