There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
