Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
