She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
