As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
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