I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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