You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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