You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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