apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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