I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
