This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
