haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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