I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
being pregnant is like rehab
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I supernannyed him into submission
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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