Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I think I just sharted jello shots
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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