I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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