He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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