I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
