he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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