I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
