last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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