I got chris browned last night
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
