I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
