I love black thongs
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
