good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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