So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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