If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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