I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
