Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
