She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
