You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Randomize
