She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
