It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
