why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
