If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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