So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Randomize
