Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
