I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
