Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
