I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
