it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
