I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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