I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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