lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
